Finally.

K is here. We are indescribably elated. I’m sure I haven’t stopped smiling yet. 

We went in for induction on Tuesday, June 13th at 5:00pm expecting to be given curves ripening drugs and a balloon to help dilate me further and then start pitocin late the next morning.

Turned out that I was ready for pitocin right away, so by 8:00pm, I was in labor and delivery, hooked up to the pitocin. Contractions started hard and fast and K did not react well to them at first. We had to turn it off to regulate her heartbeat for an hour. We restarted and I made it till 2:00am before asking for an epidural, something we had planned on getting from the moment K was conceived <I ❤️ drugs>. I was stuck at 6cm for a long time and we were told that we only had until 11pm before a c-section would need to be considered. Then I magically jumped to 10cm around 2:45pm. At 3:00pm, I started pushing and the nurse let the doctor know. The resident and our doctor joked and said “Ok, we’ll see you at 7:00pm” since K was supposed to be well over 10lbs. At 3:30, the nurse called the doctors and said we were close. The doctor walked in slowly shortly after, scrubs in hand, and I heard him say, “Oh God, you weren’t kidding!” And he swiftly got ready. We were all laughing at his surprise. At 4:01pm on June 14th, K was born. When she came out, I waited for her cry, which took a beat longer than I would have liked. And then I heard it. THE MOST beautiful sound I have ever heard in my life. I sobbed as they put her on my chest. 

8lb, 14oz, 21 inches long. A head full of hair, and only a first degree tear for me, which is amazing considering how fast she came and how big her head seems.

I’ve only ever cried of happiness a few times in my life, until now. I’m sure hormones are partially to blame, but I just look at her and tear up sometimes. 

She has been a great baby so far, and I attribute a lot of that to both J and I having so much experience with babies.

I love being her mommy. I love that J is her daddy. 

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40 weeks & still pregnant


We had our 40 week appointment today and finally got to talk about induction. The hospital won’t even look at us until we’re 41 weeks, which is seven days from now. 
I’d like to say that I think we’ll go into labor before then, but I’ve been wrong up to this point, so I no longer trust myself even though the pressure feels like she’s going to fall out. I’m just under 2cm dilated and about 70% effaced. 
IF we make it to Tuesday without spontaneous labor, we’ll go in that night for some cervix prep and probably have our little girl Wednesday or Thursday. Doc said it’s a slow process, and it sounds like it. I can’t imagine going in Tuesday at 4:00 and not leaving until Friday. 😳
Did I mention before now that I wanted to be in the hospital for the minimum 24 hours? Let’s all laugh together. 
We go in Friday for another growth scan-for what, I’m not quite sure, actually. I’m pushing her out regardless. (Have I also mentioned that while I am team epidural ALL THE WAY, my #1 fear is a c-section?)
And of course Baby is measuring huge (9-9.5lbs this week if she’s gained 1/2 lb per week), so I’m screwed if I stay pregnant and I’m screwed if the induction doesn’t work as planned. 
INSERT MORE LAUGHTER HERE.

But no matter what it takes, she’ll be home soon. 💕

Big huge pregnant: wrapping up week 38.


With 10 theoretical days left, we are in the home stretch. She’ll be here soon, which seems long overdue and yet so sudden and surreal. I think because she’s been just a dream for so long that it’s hard to accept the wonderful reality that she exists in there and will soon be in the world as her own person. ❤️
We couldn’t be more excited. 🎀

Mother’s Day Is Different Now

I tend to dislike holidays that move around the calendar: Mother’s Day, Thanksgiving, Labor Day. JUST PICK A DAMN DAY. 

Anyway. This year, I’m somewhat grateful that today is Mother’s Day instead of last year’s date of May 8. Last May 8, we found out we were pregnant right before heading to a Mother’s Day breakfast with family. A few days later, we got not-so-great news, then terrible news that we were going to lose our baby later in May. We lost Jason’s very favorite person May 18, 2016. I miscarried at her funeral on May 23rd. We know in our hearts that it was a boy and said goodbye to him and mentally buried him with her that day. 

To say it was an awful month is a massive understatement. So hopefully it’s understandable that I’d prefer Baby Girl not to be born on three specific days this month. 

This year, I am one day shy of 37 weeks pregnant with our daughter, who is thriving. ❤️

We have a growth scan and our 37 week appointment on Thursday, May 18. I’m not a huge fan, but at least we will be celebrating life as we remember loss.

It’s hard for my husband this month, too, a year anniversary of losing two people he loved so fiercely. He’s sad that she’ll never get to hold our daughter, but I figure it’s a poetic kind of trade off: She holds our son, who we never got to hold, and we hold our daughter, who she won’t be here to hold. At least physically speaking. 

As for this morning, I’m relaxing, feeling Baby Girl move around and play-probably ready for food and coffee. The nursery is done and we are just waiting to bring her home, healthy, God willing. I wonder which Mother’s Day is my first: last year, this year, or next year? I feel like all three have been all about our children, but only next year will I wear the badge of trudging through diaper changes and late night feedings.

Tons of emotions this Mother’s Day. So different for so many reasons. 

(Basically) 33 weeks/Shower/Nursery

We will be 33 weeks Monday. Considering it’s so late Saturday, I’m calling it 33. 

We went to the doctor’s for a growth scan since our 30 week appointment had my fundal measurement coming in at 34 weeks. 😳

At 32.4 weeks, Baby was weighing in at 4lbs, 15oz-ONE OUNCE SHORT OF FIVE POUNDS. Her head was measuring at 34 weeks and some odd days, so about 2 weeks ahead. 

I asked if this means we should expect her sooner, but apparently, that’s not how it goes-DANG IT. We are due June 5th but I’m hoping she’s a Memorial Day baby-any time at the end of May, actually, so long as her lungs are developed and she’s ready. 👍🏻👍🏻
Our shower was last Saturday, and we couldn’t feel more blessed. Before this day, we owned 6 onsies. Now, after the shower and a few key purchases, we are ready to go minus some mess that needs to be cleaned up and a few decorations that still aren’t up. 

One project I am super excited about is the initial that will be going above her bed. We aren’t sharing what her name or initial is, but this was our inspiration: 


It’s actually 2 feet tall and the colors are more muted than these, but I am so excited to hang it! I also have a handful of Jason’s late grandma’s handkerchiefs that I’d like to find a way to incorporate as well. 

That’s it! Happy Easter! ❤️

Wrapping Up 28 Weeks

Guys. We have 78 days left till baby is due. We will be 29 weeks tomorrow. My shower is less than 3 weeks away. 😳😍
We moved into our first house and though it still needs partially painted and assembled, we are excited to know this is where baby will come home, grow, and take her first steps.
We know which hospital we will have her in, which daycare she will go to, and (mostly) our family of 3 budget. 
We still need to enroll in childbirthing classes, finish the house, and buy what we need for her after the shower. And a million other things. 
So in love.

20 weeks!!!!!!!

Our little girl is growing, healthy, and absolutely breathtaking. Her head was SUPER far down in my pelvis for the whole anatomy scan we had a few days ago. Explains why I have so much pelvic pain of she’s down there all the time. I think she moves out and up at night-I can always feel her kick/move before bed.

Im not sure if it was the tech, the gel, or her positioning, but it was 4X more painful than I expected. I almost wonder if the gel caused a reaction of some kind-it was red and sore even the next day. 

But 100X worth it. 😍

I haven’t purchased ANYTHING yet and likely won’t before March. We close on our first home the first week of February and will move in before March 1. So I figure, might as well wait and not move a bunch of extra stuff. And it’s great news for our wallets which are hurting with all of these big expenses coming up at once. 

More to come later!